Blog Entry: Jun 18, 2014

4pm

It rains.

And upon this downpour I feel suddenly poetic.

There are many different things I can be preoccupied and worried about, but right now I feel somewhat light and in-love.

There was an old woman I knew not who planned to pay for her tricycle ride in centavos today.

I was late to my previous engagement but left earlier than the rest.

I’m starving.

I think I want potatoes.

Mom’s gonna kill me.

Maybe there are some things I’m definitely doing wrong, but I am torn by the uplifting feeling that, in the same manner, is also a time-consuming preoccupation needed to be addressed.

I’m tired watching all those episodes in one go last night.

Ahhh. I think I made a mistake coming here.
There is no practice, and as always, everyone is gonna show up late. I’m fed up with this.

Ah but I like that they follow a mañana habit, I just wished they didn’t go overboard!!!

So here I am sitting at a space which is not my own, thinking of things that I could have avoided thinking like:

“I wonder if he’ll be the next to come through those doors” and
“How am I going to keep the ends of my lips from lifting as high as my ears when I see him?”
“Should I create another blog and make sure none of this gets out just in case?”
“Too late, except for the internet connection, this things going up the web the next time we’re connected.”
“Why am I so random?”
“My eyes hurt.”
“I shouldn’t have come.”
“No, literally, I shouldn’t have come.”

Agh!!!!

That’s it, I’m going to sleep for a while. If I wake up and no one else have come, I’m leaving (and finding a good internet connection so this can go up the web).

4:17 – as soon as I wrote that last one down, another one entered. So I’m trapped to not leave until my responsibilities are over.

What responsibilities? These are kids I’m hanging out with. KIDS! With sometimes a more slightly mature outlook on life than I do.

This is a blog so I can type whatever!

I won’t deny it, being around them makes me insecure for no reason, it’s like the feeling I get when I don’t belong here.

To be honest, there was just this strange obligatory feeling that pushed me to come here. While waiting for the cab I was all “What the heck am I doing?!” Seriously. So, yeah, what the heck am I doing here.

Let me explain, I’m part of a choir and it’s been about 2 weeks since I’ve functioned as such and I kind of missed it. But I was hoping I didn’t miss it enough to do the regretable.

If they only knew the reason I keep typing in this tablet that I feel the most awkward right now.

I just got a text message. I got an interesting phonecall this morning too.

Okay. I have to put on my nurse attitude because I might just get a job at Jose Reyes! (No way!)

Let me put this tablet away for a while to reply and get ready for practice and stuff (or skeddadle out without people seeing me).

7:54pm
It’s late. The text has ended.

I’m in the midst of a few beloved friends, siblings be they called.

I’m happy. Hahaha.
I’m happy in the company of friends.

Despite the rain, despite the extended engagement.

Ah, but the rain, it no longer pours.

There are many about us with personal preoccupations,
But we are amongst them and listening to a dear one’s plea.

Not going into details about that.

I guess I didn’t chicken out of here when I left this post.

Ah but no, I had not sight nor sound of that one.

Try as I may, I’ll only sound more riddlish concealing something that I’m confoicted about letting out.

Anyways, I’m listening to the plea. This matter doesn’t concern you, my anonymous readers, but it will soon me.

Frail. I acknowledge this of just reason. I spoke too soon.
I am weak.

But God made me happy and makes me happy everyday. I thank Him.

This truly is a randomly written random blog. But alas here, it is exactly how I envisioned, exactly how I will.

Let me tell you something:

At one point in my life, my goal was to be Happy.

As I grew older, I knew more and wished for Beauty.

From that point I moved to wanting Power,

Then I wished for Wisdom,

One that could, I sought, rival even God’s.

But it was futile, I learned,

So I wished for love.

But now that too is,

And so I wished for a good reputation,

One I would be remembered for after my death.

But that too was for naught.

How would I benefit in the end.

So then I wished for money,

Because I guess that’s what bought happiness.

But in the end, my heart persuaded:

I just want to be happy.

9:51pm — Blog end.

Posted from WordPress for Android

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