Excerpt of Life: Tiny Needles

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Surprisingly, as I held the syringes and ampules in my hand…
Surprisingly, I did not shake nor stutter…
I held my composure.

The only matter giving away how unprepared and nervous I was
Was the fact
That it took me over an hour
To find the perfect vein.

She waited for me, my potential client,
As I had promised the day before, that I would clear all appointments
To serve her, with the help and mercy of the Lord.

It’s been months since I last practiced Intravenous Insertion.

I was honest to mention that they’d need to be patient with me because I’m not an expert.

She had the materials needed.

I used the gloves for tourniquet, and breaking the ampules.

Deep inside, I was a mess.

I remember thinking, “Bahala na. (Nevermind) I did pray, anyway.”

Over and over,
I built up the courage just to bring myself down.

I don’t remember how many times I placed the tourniquet.

I even reviewed IV insertion the night before,
Yet there I was facing doubt and near-hopelessness.

Finally, I was able to choose a site
At the right distal antebrachial area.

“How could I?”
I could hear myself say, everytime I readied the needle.

Three times did I withdraw and return the needle into its packaging.

But the last time I took it out,
I was ready.

I knew there wasn’t a better timing.

I was losing her trust more than I was losing mine.

And so I hoped I could pull myself together just this once.

And I did.

I successfully injected 4 ampules of Ascorbic Acid in 5cc NSS via IV, as per written physician prescription.

In life, there are trials we may face.
There are so much obstacles if we only look around.

Sometimes, the needle is already tiny,
But then, more so the vein.

How confident are you to face what’s coming?

How would you know when you are ready to go into battle?

What if you knew you weren’t ready, but the battle was now, and they needed you to be ready?

Timings.
Perfect timings are not only about Love.

Perfect timings come in different ways –either by accident or not;
But so do imperfect timings.

So how could you wait for the timing?
It is not the timing that matters most.

To be ready, you need the tiny needles.
You need them to be perfectly small in order to fit the vein.
You also need them to be just the right size for whatever prescribed drug you incorporate,
And you need a guiding hand:
One that does not lead the needle astray.

It must be the hand of someone who has the heart to guide.
But how shall one obtain the heart to guide, or confidence even?

Unless one has set their heart to guide.

Life needs guide.

We need a guide.

We think we’re already tiny needles,
But the veins could still be an even more difficult passage!

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