Excerpts of Love: Around This Time Last Year

It was around this time last year.

What is it that we feel when we don’t want to feel what we think we might not have felt when we felt it?

– For yes, we felt it.

And I know not but when we felt it, it is now but a dream, or a wish of a dream.

But we both knew that wasn’t a dream.

 

Because it was around this time last year.

Last year, the rain felt different. I was different.

Even if the fall, at all, meant nothing in one place and so much in another, the fall exists – not here, maybe, but it exists.

The same with the coming of Winter, I guess.

 

And it was around this time last year, if memory serves me right,

I’d stumble and fall, and in fact, knew it all – the excitement, the passion, the longing.

And in a glimpse of the past, it all comes back

That somehow you to I and I to you – we were… and we were not, all at once

At the same time.

 

It was this time – this season – last year.

Fading, it, from my memory still.

It was around the same time, that I thought today, I thought –

That I would never think about it this way again.

 

And it’s funny how the seasons changed, the times flew by and so did we.

It’s funny how one thing led to another, and there are still so much left unsaid.

You don’t understand! –

No, you wouldn’t understand.

 

But the way we are, the way we left things, you gave me something – something I didn’t really ask for.

You gave me confidence – letting me know that I’m not all imperfect.

You let me know that I could be loved.

You gave me inspiration,

And the feeling of excitement – the rush of that I for so long longed to feel, and the perfect opportunity to live that one Taylor Swift song.

Yes, The Story of Us could have been a lot different by now, had I put up with things.

But most of all, at the end of it all, you gave me freedom.

 

When it was over, when all was behind us,

Should I have told you anything?

Do I know what to even say?

It was the same time last year – the same!

And even now, I know I feel the shame.

 

I remember that around the same time last year,

We opened doors and closed old ones.

At the same time last year,

An odd hello, an odd goodbye.

 

Around the same time last year – yes –

There was something –

Something in that with which there was nothing at all!

 

I loved you then, my heart was aching,

I hurt you as my heart was breaking,

I pushed away and was not faking.

 

At around the same time last year, I let you go.

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